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1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an
aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the
window. (On an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard
Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length
of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me
with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in
Massachusetts....''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is
in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa ''; his response -- click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a
Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in
Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried t o explain
that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very
thin state!'' (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it
possible to see England from Canada ?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member(Janet Napolitano) once called and asked
if he could rent a car in Dallas.
I pulled up the reservation and
noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he
wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we
will need a car to drive between
gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She
needed to know how it
was possible that her flight from
Detroit left at 8:30 a.m, and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't
understand
the concept of time zones.
Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines
put your physical description
on your bag so they know whose
luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on
my luggage
that said (FAT), and I'm
overweight. I think that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying
laughing). I came back
and explained the city code for
Fresno, Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was
just putting a destination tag on
his luggage.
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a
trip package to Hawaii.
After going over all the cost
info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California
and then take the train to Hawaii
?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright
from Ala who asked,
''How do I know which plane to get
on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my
flight number is 823,
but none of these planes have that
number on them.''
10. Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola,
Florida.
Do I have to get on one of those
little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
11. Mary Landrieu, La. Senator called and had a question about the documents
she needed
in order to fly to China. After a
lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she
needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't.
I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told
her this she said,
''Look, I've been to China four
times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''
12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations,
''I want to go from
Chicago to Rhino, New York.''
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the
name of the town?''
'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up
every airport code
in the country and can't find a
rhino anywhere."
''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You
don't mean Buffalo, do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!
Could anyone be this DUMB?
YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN
POLITICS,
AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED..
I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration.
Like manure, you just gotta spread
it around.
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