I Made A Snowman
It snowed last night.
8:00 am - I made a snowman.
8:10 am - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 am - So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 am - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 am - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 am - The transgender man...women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 am - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 am - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 am - The Muslim gent across the road demanded the snow woman wear a burqa.
8:40 am - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 am - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 am - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 am - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied, “Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
9:00 am - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 am - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
9:29 am - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be beheaded.
Moral:
There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become!
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